TSA: are u carrying any firearms or explosives?
Me: *points to crotch* u mean this bomb pussy?
TSA: why do u always do this?
I touch myself whenever I think about you. More specifically, I rub my temples because I get a headache because you’re awful.
i am literally the friend that gives relationship advice and is always single
my friend has black hair and the initials PM while her boyfriend has blonde hair and the initials AM and she told me that they joke that theyre ‘asdifferent as night and day’ and i fell on the floor that shit was so adorable
im going to make this gain notes and show it to my friend
Someone once told me that human beings have three dimensions: how you see yourself, how others see you, and how you want others to see you. The closer the distance between the three dimensions, the more at peace you are and the more stable you become.
my followers are cuter than ur followers